overdue

my last post was in July, time passes too damn fast
. I had these lofty ideas that I could document my fashion musing, turns out, I wasn't so good at keeping up. Plus, I had no one to rely on to help me with my snaps so soon, it dwindled down to nothing.. so much for lofty ideas huh.

In a blink and a flash, it's Dec. The time of the year where you should be surrounded by love, family, friends, etc. etc. all the things that are supposed to make you feel warm and fuzzy like a giant teddy bear. But unfortunately, I am sad to report that my life hasn't got this great love story to write; No, I haven't met Mr. Right, in fact, met so many Mr Wrongs these past 5 months (pizza boys, post man, you name them, I've dated them) that I am so jaded and worn down. My parents are still supportive as ever and they're the cutest couple I know, I love them so very much. And there are my friends, my friends are everything to me.

Dec is also the time to recollect your thoughts, to put things into perspective. I am currently in all sort of mess right now. But a dear friend also told me, it doesn't have to be the new year to start anew, you can start any time you want if you put your heart to it. And I suppose it's true. I guess I could recount and list down the things / happenings in my life as a start

Let's see where do I start...

1. I've started a bucket list, here's hoping it goes somewhere this time.

2. Still stuck in my dead end job

3. Loving V+L everyday and hope to go far far far far away with this venture

4. Taking fashion as a everyday occurrence

5. Doing pilates daily and am proud to say - have lost weight successfully!

6. Hair is still crazy as ever, I am attempting to grow my shaven sides out. It's so painful and torturous

7. Am still fighting the good meatless fight

8. My Christian walk is not doing so great

9. Been to KL one too many times this year

10. Had blonde hair and then blonde hair with pink tips

11. I love beer now

12. A little too hooked on to Instagram.

13. Been to Bangkok a little too many times this year as well.

14. Miss London and Paris EVERY SINGLE BLOODY DAY

15. Stay young, go dancing.

Quite simply, this picture describes my thoughts:

Dare to dream they say!

I'm living a lie, but only temporarily

My love for fashion has always been an on-and-off thing. Like every other couple, I go through the highs and the lows. But every day for me is a chance to embrace the unknown. What will I wear? What accessories goes with this outfit? I like the idea of chance, and then pulling looks out of nothing. I know, fashion will never fail me. I will always be able to fall back on the reliable little black dress, or 5 inch heels that kill my feet yet my legs look endless. It's like a lover that will never say 'no' only 'yes, you look beautiful' and that kind of promise is kind of okay for now. But there are days when I hate having to love something so much and having to let it go because disposable income is otherwise limited. Still, it is okay to dream and lust over that Celine bag because when you dream big, you achieve big things. And translating that to real life.

I also know. One day, I will marry a man who will dress in short-pants suit on our wedding day and me in a simple white chiffon dress with slippers. One day, I will marry a man who will give me a walk-in wardrobe, the kind that Big built for Carrie in Sex and the City. One day, I will marry a man who will allow me to ride around in my pink bike with a big floppy hat and a dress while we go out for picnics and lie under the sun talking about nothing and everything.

Life now is a myriad of idealistic notions, because when you're single and living life, everything seems possible.

And my dream of a breakfast joint that serves up freshly baked muffins and organic soy oats, and a clothing label that I can call my own, doesn't seem so far away after all.

Oh! Darling, let's be adventurers :)

let's take a brief moment.

Sunset, by the Seine.

I've closed many chapters in my life, started on one too many 'clean slates' and journeys just never seem to come around like I hoped it would. I am not much of a writer like my best friend is, so penning my thoughts for this summer may get slightly lost in translation, but I'll try. To begin with, I would like to clarify that this is by no means a travel piece. You will not find very useful information if you're thinking about heading to Paris / London (sorry about that), although I will give you a list of things / expectations, should you be deciding to head there at some point. But first, let me start by saying that while I am not a writer, I am a 'emote-er'. Pretty sure this word doesn't exist in the dictionary so by my definition, I travel with heightened senses. A gush of wind that wraps my heart up into soaring heights, a smell of fresh croissants that sends a rumble to my tummy, the taste of home-made ice-cream running down my dry throat, the sound that my boots make as I make my way through the cobbled streets of Paris, so many other memories that stays fresh in my mind till this very day. While it is one thing to marvel at The Louvre or Buckingham Palace, it is another to remember the tiny details of your adventure. THOSE are what real adventures are made up on. The smile from a stranger on the street, meeting fancy people at the market, vintage shopping and running your fingers through clothes that have a history and story to them. THOSE are the real memories that no one can create but yourself.

I closed a chapter in my life recently, and came on this journey with an appetite to learn. It was like I was starved from the world so when I embarked on this, I felt like I couldn't stop. I just wanted to know more, to see more, to take in so much that my heart could go into combustion. And I am so glad that I learnt not just about the world, but about myself. Just short of a few months ago, the thought of being alone was a fear that I could not face. Yet through these 14 days travelling through London and Paris, I regained the independence that was so fiercely taken away from me and finally I feel like I am living again. I know, it sounds all so melodramatic but when you've been numbed long enough, this is how you should feel. 14 days and now I have dreams and aspirations bigger than what I could have imagined for myself. I cling on to everything I have seen, heard, felt, tasted and smelled.

I created a Top-18 (because I don't like to do complete things) list for Paris, not one for London (yet) but for now, here is what I can offer.

18 Things that you must do in Paris:

1. Have Pierre Herme macarons (you MUST, and far better than Laduree)

2. Eat Bretollion ice-cream (Have it along the il-st-louis and watch amazing street performers)

3. Say 'Bonjour' and 'Merci' (at the very least)

4. Visit Centre Pompidou (I spent 4 hours by myself there, AMAZING ART)

5. Learn to open metro doors (and fast , cos no one's gonna teach you that's for sure)

6. Eat lots and lots of crepes

7. Buy lots and lots of bon bons

8. Lie about in a jardin (garden), book in hand and peace in mind.

9. Eat baguette by the Seine

10. Visit Montmarte (my favourite part of Paris, for sure)

11. Be rude to a rude french

12. Beware of pigeons

13. Go to Sacre-Couer and wait for sundown, amazing view of the Eiffel Tower

14. Have a cup of coffee everyday

15. Cycle in Paris

16 (a) ignore couples making out as best you can if you are single/recently heartbroken or (b) embrace l'amour parce que all you need in life is love! Oui!

17. Visit Chateau de Versailles (must do!)

18. Lastly, create an amazing playlist - Sigur Ros, Morrissey, Mumford & Sons, The Black Kids, Angus & Julia Stone, etc - because music is everything when you travel.

au revoir et merci for reading.

Pictures taken along the Seine and by the St-Michel fountain.

I made it, to Paris :)

Summer time

Flatforms, pastel colours, denim and aztec designs describe my state of mind right now.

In other exciting news, I am leaving for London and Paris in 2 days! Bonjour!

Image credits - NastyGal

You and Me

Ryan Gosling owns my heart.

So much love for this song.

How to be alone

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library.
Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there.
Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books.
You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym.
If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation.
No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple.
Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter.
Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers.
Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner.
A restaurant with linen and silverware.
You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger.
In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies.
Where it is dark and soothing.
Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you.
Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you.
Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not.
And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions.
The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting.
Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company.
But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be relived, keeps things interesting life's magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that community's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

clothes maketh.

A random post with no intentions whatsoever, except for an impending big burning hole in my wallet (yet, again). A bit of fashion indulgence because my life is boring and I need some excitement. Clothes maketh the woman! TOMS shoes from here. I always wanted glitter shoes!

These satin red skinnies are amazing and those fur litas? It's like forget-about-it!

My heart went into cardiac arrest with this Suede number. I am still infatuated with camel shades despite it being Spring time now. Because how classic can it get?

And following my post on Emma, I present to you this visual representation of how a girl can look like a dutch boy but still ravishingly beautiful.

Emma Watson for Marie Claire from BootLegs on Vimeo.